It’s so important to prioritize self-esteem, not only for ourselves, but also for the children in our care. According to a 2015 Washington Post article, children fully develop their sense of self around age 5, and it’s usually as strong as an adult’s.
Despite this, self-esteem can change in both positive and negative ways based on things like accomplishments or trauma. This is especially true as children age toward their teens. As an adult role model in children’s lives, it’s important to lead by example, to help children see themselves in a positive light. Here are just a few ways to help boost self-confidence in your children (and yourself!):
1. Turn Down the Volume on Inner Critics
We’re all our own worst critics. But how much criticism is too much? While it’s important to be critical of things like our work, it’s also important to realize that human error is real. When we make mistakes, our self-esteem can take a hit if we self-criticize too much. For kids, it’s important to let them know that even though they made a mistake, they tried and can keep trying until they get it right.
2. Motivate in Positive Ways
Going outside of our comfort zone, or attempting something new, will almost always guarantee some missteps or failures. To combat these situations, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for failing. Instead, we should think of what a friend or parent would say to make us feel better. The same should be done for children, whether their parents are nearby or not.
3. Take Time for Self-Appreciation
Sometimes, simply looking in the mirror and saying good things about ourselves in the morning or before doing something difficult can be a big part of boosting our self-confidence. Writing down all the things you accomplished during the day is another great example. Children may be too young to do these types of things, but telling them yourself works just as well. As they get older, try to teach them how to find ways to self-appreciate.
4. Look for Silver Linings
If something doesn’t happen the way we want it to, it’s very easy to get discouraged. Instead of allowing ourselves to give up, we should think about what can be gained from making a mistake. One of the best examples for this is also the most simple: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Failure offers the chance to learn from each attempt until we get it right.
5. Smile More
The simple act of smiling, even when we don’t feel truly happy, can improve both our mood and the mood of those around us. Smiling utilizes fewer significantly muscles than frowning. On top of that, the endorphins released into our brains when we smile give us a surge of positive feelings that last all day.
6. Do Something Nice for Someone Else
When we do nice things for others, we build trust with those people and, at the same time, give ourselves better treatment. As the Golden Rule says: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” This could be anything, like holding the door for someone, being an active listener, or helping another person pick up something they dropped. By modeling these behaviors, children learn quickly that being kind to others has positive long-term effects on their own self-esteem.